Impasse

So a newlywed couple is walking through a treacherous mountain pass and they come across a dragon, okay? And the dragon says, "alright you two nutballs, I am going to eat one of you, so quit your sniveling and just relax because that isn't going to change. But you're lucky, see, because I am going to let the two of you lamebrains decide which one of you is going to take the scenic route through my digestive tract, okay?" Well, the newlywed couple didn't like this too much, right, because they had just gotten married and they had made one or two long term plans as a result of that. So one of them gets up real close to the dragon's earhole and says "Hey, buster, you don't want to eat my mate, because he snores and his breath smells like a dying turd, and I'm pretty sure he's got worms." The dragon turns this around in his dragonbrain for a while and then looks at the newlywed and says, "Well, that decides that. Do you need to use the restroom before I gobble you up, because to be honest, it's just going to be better for the both of us if you take care of that right now." And before the dragon can slap its gabbers on that newlywed the other newlywed jumps up to the dragon's other earhole and says, "Wait a minute, jack, you sure as a sump-pump don't want to eat my mate. She soaks her face and toes in brine, and I think she eats her own hair, and she twitches whenever somebody says forklift." The dragon loses his appetite in a hurry and he says, "Wow, you two beetlebutts have some real problems, you know? Makes me think fondly of my failed marriage. Might I suggest a visit to divorce court? It's right through this treacherous mountain pass." The newlywed couple stares at each other and their eyes get real narrow-like, the type of angry glare that could cut a diamond, and they say, "I think that's a great idea!" And they walk right past that dragon with its earholes and dragonbrain, mumbling and grumbling the whole time. In fact, they fight most of the way to divorce court and then they make up and live a fairly happy life as shrimp farmers, and that's the fake story.